What happens psychologically to a man the first time he gets penetrated anally?

Before I first experienced getting fucked in the ass by a man, I had sucked off many guys. I was a “straight” guy fighting my urges for cock as I thought of it as “gay” and felt ashamed. But I just couldn’t resist how much I craved cock and cum. Each time I hooked up, sucking a nice dick and swallowing a hot load, I told myself, “that’s the last time.” But soon after, I was craving it again and would go looking for my fix. I met this older guy online that had a beautiful cock (based on his pictures); fat, hairy, big mushroom head, very veiny. I was literally drooling over the pics of his boner. He explained that he was a dominant alpha top and if we hooked up, I was going to be his sub-bottom slut. And he told me to make sure my hole was clean, inside and out because he was going to breed my “man-pussy” as he called it. I told him I’d never had anal sex, and his response was “You’ll be begging for it after I pop your ass-cherry.” My mind told me not to meet him, but my sexual needs won out and I went to his house one afternoon. I sucked his cock for a bit, my own dick hard as stone and leaking precum as he called me every nasty name in the book and fucked my throat hard and deep. “Bend over that table and spread those ass cheeks bitch,” he ordered. He lubed up my hole and stuck his fingers inside me and I nearly blew my load right then and there. He then started sliding his lubed tool up and down my ass crack, “Beg for it slut,” he commanded. And I was so sexually charged up, I did…”Fuck me Sir. Please shove that big cock up my tight hole and make me your bitch.” Yea, it hurt like hell as he popped my cherry, but 5 minutes later I was moaning and groaning like a true bitch in heat, telling him to fuck me harder and deeper. I had never felt so sexually aroused as he pounded me good, making my dick twitch and dribble. He finally blew a huge load deep inside my hole and said, “You’re my bitch now, aren’t you?” And I was. Psychologically, I went from a “straight” guy that was ashamed of my addiction to cock, to a full blown sub-bottom that knew I’d never struggle again mentally with my addiction. I accepted I love and need cock, regardless of any tags or taboos associated with my own upbringing. Maybe I was gay, bi, or whatever, but getting fucked in the ass and finding how amazing it was, my brain clicked and I was finally happy accepting my role as a sub-bottom cocksucker and fuckhole. So yea, getting ass fucked was way better for my own mental health than years of seeing a therapist.